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The Great Poop Explosion Of 2015

Now she was really mad because she had dozed off and woken up several times in a short period of time. I carried her around, patted her on the back, bounced up and down a bit, but the crying (and now screaming) didn't stop. Eventually after 15 minutes of this she finally calmed down and dozed off on my shoulder again. I waited a little bit this time to make sure she was really asleep and laid her in her Pack N Play (where she has been doing all of her sleeping since we got her home) and sat on the couch to browse the interwebs for a while. Very shortly thereafter she was up crying and screaming again and I realized that this was going to be a long day.

So hours passed of feedings, cuddling, and bouncing. Dozing off on me for a couple of minutes and then waking herself up all over again and having to start all over. I finally gave up trying to make her sleep and grabbed the vacuum cleaner, while holding her, and started vacuuming. Evidently this made her sleep on my shoulder. I didn't want to put her down because she was finally sleeping, so I vacuumed the whole house holding this little baby and fighting off cramps in my neck and back. When I was done I sat on the couch and rocked her a little bit and then tried to lean back a bit to let my back relax. Apparently my comfort was a no-no because it made her go crazy! How dare I change her current position of sleeping?! So I sat up again, back cramping and all, and decided to give it a go at having her eat again.

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I set it up as comfortably as possible, for both of us, and let her chow down until she passed out finally

At 3pm she finally fell asleep and I wound up falling asleep next to her after all of that. I figured I'd have to wake up in 10 minutes because she was crying, but about 40 minutes passed and I successfully had a little nap! She kept sleeping, for three hours, until daddy came home and she finally started stirring! It was great because it finally let her rest and it gave my brain and anxiety a break!

The evening went well. We started making dinner, Izzy had her diaper changed and ate a little bit, and then she started to doze off again so I laid her in her Pack N Play and let her nap some more. John went out to the garden and picked some green beans and I got some potatoes ready. Then she started to stir again. She sounded happy so I went over and picked her up and bounced her around a bit. We walked into the kitchen to see what daddy was doing and I leaned her little butt up against the counter and made faces at her. Everything was great! Then when I went to go walk around with her a little bit my chest felt sticky so I looked down. I figured she had maybe spit up a bit, but I was wrong. I was dead, dead wrong.

There was yellowish mustard gravy poop all. over. my. chest. All over. It was sliding down my arm a little bit and all over her legs. I was shocked so I said, Wow, holy crap, in a really calm tone. John turned to look at us and even he was calm, but obviously surprised.

What do you need me to do? he asked calmly as I stood there and thought about my next step.

Can you move the vegetables so we can spray her off in the sink a little bit? I asked him. We we're both surprisingly calm until he stretched the hose from the sink and went to spray it on her and it accidentally sprayed her face. We both laughed, she started crying, and then everything fell apart. He tried to rinse her off quickly and we took off her socks that we're now covered in poop. My chest poop had now been dripping down between my boobies, but that wasnt really something I was even concerned about because now there was poop on her hand. So since she likes to suck on her hands we had to fight her to not put her hand in her mouth before we could wipe it off.

Everything was going from fairly controlled to chaotic!

So he took her from me and carried her into her bedroom and put her on her changing table. I followed him and then he looked at me and said, No, go ahead and go take care of yourself. Oh, yeah, that's right. There is crap all over me literally. I went and stepped in the shower and sprayed my clothes and exposed poopy body off and I heard, Oh my god!

Are you okay? I yelled from the bathroom.

There is so much, was his response. I just laughed.

Do you want to bring her to me and we can spray her off? I asked. He didn't say anything so I just continued with my shower and then went back into the living room.

I have never seen so much shit. That diaper was so full that I don't think that any diaper could have contained it! It went all the way up her back, it was all over her stomach; it was everywhere! John said. That definitely is cause to give her a bath now. I cleaned her up really well with wipes, but she should get a bath. I just laughed and laughed. For anyone who has read my where did all the poop go story then you should find it amusing too because it was day three, also coincidentally her five week old birthday, and she exploded everywhere. What would usually fill three diapers in five minutes was put into one diaper in five minutes and we didn't know about it!

So there it is, my craziest mommyhood (and craziest daddyhood situation) to date, so far, in Izabelas life. I'm sure even crazier things will happen in her life and the messes will be even bigger, but I'm totally proud of us and how we handled the situation (minus accidentally spraying her in the face with the kitchen sink hose).

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Posted in Dentistry Post Date 02/28/2018


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